No Words

All-State Jazz is a difficult topic for me to discuss. It is an elite group of jazz musicians chosen from high schools all across Iowa. To audition for this elite group, you have to record an etude, which is the one song that everyone has to perform, and at least one song, of your choice, to improvise on. Preparing for this audition can end up taking months; I choose my song in December and took until February to at least get somewhat good at it. I spent almost 3 months of practice and stress, all, it seems, for nothing. My recordings were sent in on March 1st and I didn’t get the results back until March 26th. I thought my recordings were good but, in fact, they were not even close to good enough to make All-State Jazz.

          I love jazz. Every time I play or even listen to jazz, it’s as if the world is right, nothing can go wrong, all the fears and doubts of yesterday are washed away. Jazz is like a cool breeze in the summer, it is much needed and much appreciated by all; yet, there is always a feeling of discomfort on these breezes, as if there is always a looming storm, something to completely destroy everything in its path. In this instance, jazz took a turn for the worse; a tornado came and destroyed everything, tearing me apart as if I were an insignificant ant. I live for jazz but jazz doesn’t always live for me. I just can’t beat the onslaught that jazz brings towards me.

When I looked at the results, it was as if I had been sucked into the middle of a tornado; the world was spinning all around me, my confidence and hours spent on this task had been ravaged in seconds. I am bare and exposed, the storm of jazz took my possessions as if I were being mugged. I felt sick to my stomach and mad that I could not do better. My passion, jazz, was all a big lie, a slap in the face. Am I ever going to be able to recover? What more can I do to be able to improve my jazz skills? The answers…still to be determined. All I can think of doing is to continue to learn more improvisation vocabulary. I clearly don’t know how to develop an idea or know what exactly to play within each key, each song. The feeling of self-disappointment has almost overcome me, like a wave capsizing my ship of confidence. 

 

Words cannot fulfill my disappointment. I feel empty. I have failed myself. 

We Are #1

            We FINALLY did it! The 2015 Happiness Incorporated Combo got best band! The competition we went to was in Bloomington, Minnesota. It was four hours away and apparently we showed everyone up there what it’s like to compete in Iowa. I’m so glad I could be a part of the best band at this competition.

            The funny part is, we had more mistakes and aspects of the music that we didn’t execute as well as we have in the past. Apparently it was played well enough to beat out other bands, which still surprises me. For this performance we must have had better dynamics and musical aspects that were better than the execution of other bands. Listening to several different show choirs, there were definitely bands who were so tight with the group and played every note crisp. The only difference between us and them is that we had better dynamics or we blended better than the others.

            There was one band that I was sure was going to get the best band. It was from some ‘W’ school that I can’t remember the name of nor recall where they are from. But their band executed every note and were confident in all areas (which we lack sometimes, not always, but sometimes). They were so tight and together but the only thing I can think of that separated us from them is the blending and dynamics factor. In this area, I know we are really good. We are the perfect size so we can play loud and still not cover up the choir. If we were any bigger, or had any bigger sound, we might cover up the choir and their amazing tone which is something we don’t want to do. We have a pretty dang big sound as it is right now anyway. But it fits us, it fits the choir. We jam really well with each other.

            I’m not sure what the judges were looking for but we must have shown them the right thing. We were also the first group to go in the varsity division. So we must have just set the bar too high and the other bands couldn't get on our level. That is pretty impressive; if we can set the bar for people, imagine what it will be like when the others are surrounded by us, we are unstoppable.

            I am proud to say that I am part of an award winning combo and I can’t wait to see what the rest of this season has to hold. And Gramps, that one was for you! Thanks for giving me the ability and courage to bring Happiness to everyone.  

Best Band Award Bloomington 2015

IBA Honor Band=Kennedy

            Recordings of music. You hear them all the time. All different genres and playlists. The ones that are good get the attention of many people. But there are also ones that aren’t the best but get the attention of a couple people and suddenly that band is the IBA Honor Band for 2015. Yes, I’m talking about the Kennedy Wind Symphony. Somehow, our quality of music has raised to a level that makes us good enough to represent all the 4A High Schools in Iowa.

            In the past, I have gone on about how the Kennedy Wind Symphony has lacked work and determination. Does the phrase ‘Fake it till you make it’ sound familiar? Cause it seems that, not saying we aren’t good, we struggle through the process of sounding good. Apparently my standards are too high. Partially because of the fact that I made it into All-State Band. The whole experience with that band has dampened, or maybe heightened, the quality of which I want out of the Wind Symphony. In any case, I am stuck with what we’ve got and I am finally proud to say that I am involved in the Kennedy Wind Symphony.

            This whole process of getting into IBA is very time consuming and difficult. First off, we have to prepare music that is almost above our skill level. And then, when we kind of know that music we have to record it; where every mistake and cacked note is heard and there for the rest of time. Recording is such a stressful time. In a real concert, some of these simple mistakes can be covered up by different sections or parts of the music. But a recording is ruthless. It is like having the teacher stare over your shoulder while you are taking a math test; you’re afraid you are doing something wrong when you know you are doing it right, which, in turn, makes you mess up. It is a terrible feeling. Knowing that each entrance and every single minute detail will be heard and judged. Based on how many mistakes and errors the band makes determines who gets to take this great honor.

            Once recording is done, the bands involved send in their recordings to a panel of judges. These judges first listen to the first minute or so of the CD. If they don’t like what they hear, you’re done. With a flick of the wrist the hard work of a band goes into the trash can. They then decide, to those that weren’t that bad, to listen to more of the CD. Based on those tracks, they chose the band. Apparently, our CD made it through the judges and it was just not bad enough to make the band. So, on May 15^th, the Kennedy Wind Symphony will be going to Des Moines to play for this amazing honor, the first time since 1972! 

Jazz Season

            The 2015 jazz band season is officially open! It’s the time of year where there are two or three jazz charts running through the musicians head. It is also the time when mistakes are no longer an option; where the music has to be felt instead of played; where jazz musicians go to be critiqued and ultimately die; where the weak fall and the strong rise up to shatter the knees of the lesser; where you find out, you may not be as good as you think. For Kennedy Jazz One, this is the time of year where we scramble to know the music well enough to not get last. Already we have started the season fast having competed at 2 competitions.
            The first competition was the Triton Jazz Fest at Iowa Central. At this competition there were only 2, 4A jazz bands battling for spots; both of which came from the wonderful school, Kennedy. Yes, at this competition we were the only school from 4A, competing against Jazz Two. In a way, not really a competition, more of a preliminary morale boost. It was a definite win and Jazz One did pull out the victory from Jazz Two. This is the very first, first place that I have received for jazz band in the three years I have been involved. I am proud of our victory but also know it was kind of pointless. After this competition, we don’t know where we line up with the other good 4A schools (for example: Washington, Prairie, Linn-Mar). We got a score and comments, sure, but that doesn’t show us what we have to compete against. It shows us that we are better than Jazz Two, (which, hopefully). In a way, although this was useful with the judges comments, it really doesn’t count. It was definitely a given, nothing we had to work that hard for.            Also at this competition, I received an outstanding soloist award, which, quite frankly, shocked me. I know I am not nearly good enough to have received this award at any other competition. This was just another pick me up that worked for a very short amount of time.            Just tonight we got done competing at the State Jazz Music Festival held at Jefferson High School. This was our first real competition where we got scored and given a rating. Now, because we just got done competing, I don’t know how we did. But based on the advice and critique the clinician gave us, it couldn’t have been good. Basically, he said that our band lacked energy and a sense of a good jazz feel. Not good. We definitely need work on out style and playing it with more passion. Sure, we are good at the technical stuff involved in jazz, but the non-technical stuff is way more important in jazz. For example: accents, phrases, staccatos, beats, etc. Most of these things are written on the page but jazz isn’t always about what’s on the page, it’s about how those dots and squiggles are interpreted by another person. We have a lot of tedious work ahead of us.            To end this not so great night, this clinician talked to me for what felt like 5 minutes about how my solo was crap. I went from the top all the way down to the bottom in a week. Apparently I am just terrible at everything. I try so hard but I just can’t seem to win, (except when there isn’t any competition). Overall, this past night was not a great night as my heart has been broken several times. 




 

Is Music Ever Going to Run Out?

            This week a question crossed my mind; will we ever run out of music? Music is my life. Every day I wake up with a song running through my head. Everywhere I turn I run into music, and I love it. Some people might call me a nerd for liking music and being obsessed over it and it is 100% true. I am ok with being a music nerd, it is what ultimately gets me through the day. Without music, life would be boring and bland, like cereal without milk. I would wake up and be empty, nothing to fuel my brain. The answer to this question, no, music will always be there.

            So what happens when all the possible melodies have been written? The only problem with this statement, the melodies are always going to be there, at least in my lifetime. There are so many different combinations of pitches that have not been written that there will always be different possibilities. The only problem is whether or not people can find these new melodies. It seems like there are many songs that have the same, or relatively the same, melody line. That could become a problem. If people just copy the same melody line but change the words, how is that different music?

I ran across a video that got my attention as it talks about this topic. It explains that even songs like God Bless America and God Save the Queen have the exact same melody, only different words. So how, if we haven’t already, ran out of new music? That is also explained in the video. Because there is such a large amount of different possibilities, we have not gotten to the full extent of our music statistically.

In my opinion, we will never run out of new music. Even though there are many songs that might sound alike, there is such a large amount of different melody lines that there is no way to run out of music in my lifetime. This is a relief to me. I don’t know what I would do without new exciting music to rotate my life around. 

1 Point Behind, 1 Place Ahead

            This past Saturday, the show choirs from Kennedy High School went to compete at Linn-Mar and did an amazing job. Protégé, the prep choir, received first in the prep division and went on to compete with the varsity division and proceeded to get 5^th out of 6. After the day rounds, Happiness was in first and we would not step down; Happiness ended up in first place with best choreography and vocals.

Last but not least, for the most important part, combo. Sadly, but also awesome, the band did not get the best band award. The reason this is awesome is because, sure it was second, but it was second by one point. One stinking point! If we had done one aspect of music, one measure, one phrase better, we would have received best combo. It tears my heart out being one point away. We are so close.

One of the aspects that we could have done better in the day round was a grove. For some reason, we just didn't jam with the music as hard as we have in the past. It felt almost too pushed, like we were trying to force the sound and not embrace it. It is so important for our combo to feel the beat and have fun playing. Last year we had this problem; we didn’t let the music just come out of our instruments, it was forced. When bands grove and fit in with the singers, it’s amazing. It’s a whole level above those who just play and don’t put emotion behind the notes.

Emotion is what decides the best combo. Without emotion, the music sounds dead. It is a hard technique to master because a musician has to truly want to win, to convince the judges we are the best. Emotion is just so hard to put into an instrument. It’s not like we can just change what our face looks like, we can’t put on a façade like the singers can. They can almost fake their way with emotion but at the same time not. All aspects of music involved in a show choir involves some kind of emotion, some kind of feel. Whether that feeling is sad, or happy, or fun, or whatever, each person has to know what it should be like and use that to give the judges a show.

With emotion, our combo sounds so much better. During the night rounds, the grove and feeling of the show was incredible. I could tell that each person, no matter how tired, gave it their all. For the musicians in the combo, when playing for Happiness for the last time, it was the 4^th show. There was even a trumpet player that had just danced her second show and was still willing to put everything into her instrument. It is just amazing that there was so much emotion and a sense of championship left that we blew the other groups out of the water.

After the night rounds, there was no doubt that Happiness was going to get first, and it happened. This was my first show choir championship ever and I could not be more proud to be involved with the group. Thanks to all the musicians who were willing to leave it all on the stage, to prove we deserve 1^st! 

Preparation and Practice

            Preparation is the key factor in the lives of musicians. To perform well and not embarrass themselves, there is a certain amount of preparation and practice beforehand that has to occur. The amount of time spent on practicing will vary from one person to the next based on their natural skill and how much time they put in of practice time total. Without preparing, or preparing well, musicians would show up to contests and performances sounding mediocre.

            In many cases, this is one of the problems for the Kennedy Band program. Many of the musicians involved in the groups don’t want to practice on their own before rehearsal, let alone before a performance. This is a big issue. Groups do not sound good if the musicians don’t know their part or can’t execute it well. This is the story of all Kennedy Band ensembles; we can’t figure out how that everyone has to do their part.

            Not every section, or every person, is terrible. There are the few that are willing to do the work while others don’t see it necessary. So, when it comes to contests—in our case, recordings—we do not live up to our potential. The Kennedy Wind Symphony could be an amazing group, but we can’t pull it off if not everyone gives their all.

            This problem is like a disease; every ensemble: concert bands, jazz bands, and marching band, has a terrible case of laziness. For example, the jazz bands are going to a competition this Friday and we are not close to ready for competition season. We don’t sound quite as well as we could. The main problem, not everyone takes it seriously or practices at home. As much as I hate to admit it, I am victim to this disease as well. Even today I did not take home my music to practice. In fact, of the three years involved in the organization, I haven’t ever taken home music to practice. Not once have I done more than needed, minus practicing for my private lessons. I see no need to just like so many others in the groups. Except the difference is, I know my music and can execute it fairly well, at least that’s what I think.

            This problem will not go away for a long time. There is absolutely no incentive for the musicians to practice. It will be the downfall of the failing band program—if it hasn't burned it too much already.